Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Part of my experience seems to be a lot of sitting in front of this window. Staring out and being alone. Either thinking or not thinking. I don't really know what it means yet. I mean. Most people would assume that all this time, spent sitting here, is a waste of that time. And maybe, I am one to agree. But maybe I don't agree. The problem then, is, what exactly does all this sitting and looking out at this window get me.

Now I understand the idea of decompressing and unwinding after doing a lot of work or just after all kinds of stress. The need to relax and compose oneself before going back out into the storm. But, what storm am I in? Nothing. I travel. I walk around. I read. I write. And over and over again. That's what I do. So then, why all this time just staring. And passing time with nothing. What am I appreciating?

So I start to think whether I am just wasting time. But again, is the time doing something other than this better spent time. Or is it all a pile of nothing. And either way, whichever way I choose to spend it, is it fruitless.

How am I sitting here in the dark with a glass of wine just staring out in the dark. And doing nothing. I have some music playing. And of course, I am writing this. But thats it.

I have considered making a baked potato. But like I told Tori over the phone earlier, 'I haven't gotten past the threshold of my door. But if I do, I think it will be a delicious baked potato.

the sunny beaches of Mexico

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