Wednesday, November 12, 2008

laughter and pain

waking to find 

something better


what's here is good,

out there is more

out where?

waking to petroglyphs

to falling snow

to regret the stab of death to what you want and love;

to the bank teller and her black dress
& her smile on her face
to her looking at me
to wondering what she knows,
and if she wants a kiss
on her cheek;
if she wants to.

lost in clear weather

to the fake joy of a pill
my body shakes and smiles
to lies.
little joy without
joy's bad pill
after a rescue party finds us

the bleeding arm of release
the catastrophe
of a sharpened switchblade
cauterized eyelid
of bad food and being drunk,
without a sponge
for the sadness,
there's only sinking deeper
until you shatter glass
on the table.

a kid with an Iron
threatens A life,
to digest the reality
of pain-needing to strike it out of the heart
with force,
losing teachers in your years
to more teachers,

then waking up
without a guide,
to teach yourself.

A wolf in the road
Lapping up rabbit blood;

to the flow
of falling sand
in an hourglass

tomorrow turning it over
but it keeps coming back

wishing for summer on the river
under willow trees & songbirds
and dragonflies darting along the water
splashing silver in the air-

from over the way,
to the stranger
who is what my friend wants me
to kill,

because she is beautiful
& beauty is powerful
& the powerless,
wish nothing more
than for things to be

sunlight dies too quickly in
the winter.

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