Thursday, April 12, 2007

my people

Last night was Akron Family and school has started again. So I am back at school. Last night, the band invited everyone on stage and gave them tamborines and a wide array of shakers, recorders, and hand instruments to make lots of noise while they sang and jumped up and down. It was a lot of fun, but it has recently come to my attention that I am indeed going crazy. That I have fallen quite deep and didn't know it. Which means, I considered before that it was the normal variety that plagues me from time to time and then decides to fade in a foggy act. However, this, is something different, and disturbing. And I think part of it is self-inflicted. As if I was deciding to take crazy pills. Looking at my hand filled with multicolored swirling beauties of madness--reds shifting to yellow through orange to a deep green, blue, black, white, back to red, and purple. So obviously, that presents a problem, however, I don't know exactly what to do but continue on, and hope that at some point I will have another realization that I Am Back To Being Fine.

Crazy because I don't have much of a different word for it. I know its a bit vague, but we can assume it involves an ability lacking normal contact with people, and in that, well, I don't know anything beyond that. But Akron Family was really good. And I read that Kurt Vonnegut died. I don't really know what to do with that. I like him. But I never really considered that he was going to write any more books. Which seems kind of depressing that I look at his death in that light. Whether he was going to write anything else. But I suppose I didn't know him personally, nor on any level besides his literature, so thats the only thing I have.

Today marks the first day that the weather breaks past sixty degrees. Sixty-two to be exact. And that means things are looking up. Right? Right.

If I spent a million years in the same spot that spot would end up being just empty space, and all that would be left would be a fading light that was a million years ago.

I had a beer at the bar before the show started and was sitting around when I realized I was talking to the drummer for Akron Family. Who was very nice, and very concerned about understanding Norwegian currency. He was also excited for his bands next destination, Copenhagan. He seemed to light up about the women. Yes, women.

Otherwise, I have been reading as usual, writing. I encountered a version of myself that is far more vivid. All that means is that when I put him on the page, he makes me feel something. I suppose that is something. I also wrote about four or five stories that never went anywhere. I'm not so sure what to do with them. Except throw them in the same folder with the rest of those incompletes.

The sky is all blue, all the clouds have left, and now, now its a hovering split. Looking at the horizon is disorienting. It seems to actually curve. That may just be a psychological issue, rather than anything involving my location.



Anonymous said...

if it's 62 in norway that means its warmer there than it is in sf right now! haha

Anonymous said...

psychosis makes for good writing. run with it.

Julian LaBounty said...

come dance with me my people!