Thursday, April 09, 2009

bottle of wine, raging fire, the lights of cusco make the city seem like a million not in the thousands. the altitude makes everyone sick but ive been here long enough that i laugh and watch the fire burn and drink wine and think splendid thoughts of love, of money, of art, of stones, of life, of beauty of hands of kisses of time of the clouds and mostly the clouds. i ascended the peak of machu pichu and watched a condor fly the thermals above and out. small handmade shrines sit at the top and my cousin and i just think and let time pass by as the clouds pass us by and not a person in world is willing to make the summit. with all those terrible steps a crucible of a climb. i dont think ill ever breathe air as clean as the air at the top of that mountain. it is a place between all of life, between the passing of time and the end of time, where time just stops and it stops in the minds of anyone up there. i planted a small picture of my father under the stones so that if we do have souls he has a kind of teleport pad so that he can come to machu pichu whenever he wants and look at the world in all its splendor. as he must have seen it when he was alive. i think it is the least i can do for the man who shaped my entire life. and for my mother the same if i ever have to carry a picture around of her. more. the time of here closes now and it will be cherished. the fire will rage behind me until i sleep. and when i sleep i will dream the chaos of my past in a mixture of color. there is everything until death, and until then even if mortality presses its lips on my forehead and makes my heart well in anxiety pain and joy i will cherish the feelings. existence is a precious thing. the sign outside the hotel said ayhuasca ceremony at 6 but the fear made me stray far away. goodnight and as tom would say to me before the end of everything, godspeed.

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