Tuesday, February 03, 2009

was by the ocean walking along the coast to the festival of huts. there were people sitting by fires singing and the afternoon was being replaced by the light throes of evening coming. i sat down and looked at some fire ants moving, then was surrounded by women bringing small platters of food. some friends motioned with their hands how to eat but i became disgusted by their presence and moved off away from the coastline into the inner parts of the village where more foreigners were dancing and their smiles made me look away towards the deep jungle off away from the huts. there was a darkness and it drew me in as if calling in whispers close to my ear. i knew nothing behind me and all that there was was a dark and beautiful thing inside the monstrous riot of plants and animals. i put a hat on as to ease my fear of bugs falling high from canopy, some dangerous stinger from above or a rainstorm that could come from nowhere. there was a gun inside a hut near the border of that chaos and i took it noticing large round shells in a box on a chair; i grabbed a handful and put them in my shirt pocket, loaded both barrels of the shotgun and then walked out and into the tree line then deeper & deeper with a fantastic glee on my face; now alone with only the sound of soft footsteps and the moans of plant growth, animal ecstasy and reverberations of a gold lion. 

for an instant i was transported back to a place in my past. in my apartment looking over a river. there was a women and i had her against the wall, removing her clothes as we kissed and i bit in her neck, her soft sounds, the dull lamp light, my uniform coming off and her naked body there in half light as i had removed all her clothing. she was whispering to me about the hunt and about its danger. she remarked in warm tones that i was a criminal. i remember books with no titles where the apartment had a balcony that looked to a horizon of lights.

i was reloading my gun. smoke rose from the double barrels and the lion roared. i was calm and the snap of the handle meeting barrel dissipated my fear. the lion heard the sound and instead of charging began to run. it leaped away and into the trees where i followed quickly dismissing caution. i fired into darkness and heard a low purr. so low i could feel the vibration through the grass and ground. this time my hands fumbled with the reload and my jaw clenched tight. i was afraid of dying in that instant and the lion's great face came into view. i asked myself what was it that made me do this and felt the hot anger of this animal in my bones.

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