Thursday, January 21, 2010

sometimes i dont even have a reason. its just this feeling i get that i guess someone who has a car they just like to drive, or a book they just read through the pages of over and over again, or like when you just like the thing for what it is so sometimes it doesnt need a purpose for its use. sometimes i just like to click the computer screen, open programs that don't need opening, click the start button and watch the menu pull out. and itll be different for every computer, each one has its own unique rhythm which is created by the different users of the machine itself. working through a person's computer shows you innate details of their way of being, and something ive realized working on them is ive incorporated myself into every machine ive touched. inherently i take the machine with my hand and i began to change it for everything i do, and then i leave, and the machine is new and different. i like how if ive run a machine through its pases, and i come back to it in the distant future, i will have known that i have touched it. sometimes i just click and click and click and its not to open something but im establishing the feedback of how long the computer takes to respond to each click; by doing that i know the speed of the machine, at how its actually calculating and not based solely on its hardware specifications. this allows me to understand the most critical tasks first, what i must establish within the system so it becomes more fluid and without stalling. it is sad when you realize that the personality of the machine is fine but that the hardware inside is dying. it is happy when new parts come together and breathe fresh air into the machine's paces. i learn to know how it acts. the problem if there is one isn't that its wrong for it to be doing that but by wanting to understanding why that behavior is taking place. sometimes there is no reason, but i just want to feel the way it moves like if i wanted to take a bicycle out and pump my legs and feel the air and then go down the hill and ride and ride and ride.

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