Sunday, March 30, 2008

the repetition of our failure & why

A want to be here?; everything around us looks like its falling apart; and the computers & televisions and games and all the things are all just ways to distract us so that nothing ever gets done and so little is made with a purity in its intent. instead we are fed but no one remembers how to grow anything anymore. eventually the systems that have been made to feed us; a ripe poison; will fall apart in their own consumption and in their deadly wake will be a mindless drone of lost individuals. individual again but with no concept of what it means to think. its not their fault but it is for those who can and don't. fear is the mind killer and everyone has gotten afraid. there is no more action in terms of movement. there is the action of the repetition of feeding but that is not action, it is something else and it is reaction upon an action from a foreign source that has only its self-interest at heart; the mode is failure. in this place we've not done what we can with our abilities and these abilities have subsequently been lost. there is a subtle maliciousness precipitating every 'thing' around us; these things were designed in a way to take rather than to give. all the things we think are beneficial, the entertainment, the food, the water, even the schools are educating to sustain and to trick and the system does this to keep itself thriving through its taking. we can feel it (we can train ourselves to feel it) but no one seems to care. and even if someone cares its not enough it has to be everyone; its hard to show anyone any of this especially when living is already difficult and especially when dying is at the end and on one (wants) to die; so the struggle becomes the quest for comfort; what a selfish quest what a disgusting thing comfort. the body and mind were meant to be wrecked and used not sheltered in a cage. i hate canaries unless i cannot see them. you all placed thought in a shuttered room and barred the door where it waits alone in a horrible darkness with the feeling of drowning. you have put it there and imagine if someone did that to you, with nothing but hope and a quiet blackness, the reason being ease and so we've jailed our greatest gift in exchange for a disgusting thing. i have felt that and its the most horrible kind of pain there is. what they say is wrong and they know it but got so stupid they can't unlock their prisoner. it would be terribly hard to find the key and it would be painful but it would be good and right. the room would be flooded with light and eventually the pain would subside. there is no such thing as truth only motion and motion in where we move. when movement is lost we fail to breathe and all the world heaves, subsides and vanishes in meaninglessness a collapse and dissipation of the worst kind.


4 comments:

Jake said...

why did you take it down?

Miss Galgana said...

What just happened?

Julian, I know we have not scanned the polaroid yet.

I have a picture without your head on it on my myspace album Spring Break 08 though.

I had lots of fun :)

Julian LaBounty said...

i get sad sometimes about the state of the world and the systems that have been created that are very destructive in a lot of ways rather than creative and good. so i wrote that as a response to that sadness and frustration; attempting to secure my feelings and where i stand in terms of thought and what i want.

its cool, im sure that picture will come someday. i just really like that picture and i dont like a lot of photos. i just looked now and saw the photos you have up and they made me smile. i'm glad you had fun, im glad you came.

Julian LaBounty said...

i dont know if that addressed the what happened?