'reality is slowly becoming a joke', 'its own joke', 'its laughing...laugh!'

Couple of pictures I had lying around. Alex got the underneath part of her lip pierced and I went with her. The place doubles as a tattoo shop. I ate a pretty good hot dog at the 7-11 before that. I keep missing out on the ones wrapped in bacon; they are either sold out, or still not cooked all the way when I want one.

Just sort of lounging around. Today is my day off from school, its raining a little bit, its 20 degrees outside, and the fire alarm in one of the buildings keeps going off. My roommate is showering, I can hear him. Our bathroom smells like ass. I don't know why. I think its because the heater mixed with the old rags that the caretaker left in there. I need a mop or something, to clean the floors in there and in here, but we are sadly missing a mop. Tori keeps messaging me on my phone to come downtown and go look for the venue that The Mountain Goats are playing at but I don't really feel like doing much of anything. Especially getting on the metro and taking it all the way down in this cold. I swear, I can't get a handle on that. Doesn't matter how many layers, how many thermals I wear, it still gets to me.

Pretty excited about making a sandwich since I bought a bunch of groceries last night, and I got some fresh bread. I also finally bought cereal and milk. My new batch of bananas are bruised. I need to finish Jane Eyre.

There are always tons of people here cross-country skiing. They do that instead of taking the train, and then on the way back they pile their skis on the metro and ride all the way back up the hill. Since we are at the top here at Krinsja. Still need to go exploring and see the lake that exists right next to us that I have yet to see. And Alex is excited when warm weather comes to explore the insanely large forest right behind us. Go mushroom picking.

Some Norwegian students in my class asked me if I had ever seen a tumbleweed since I came from the desert. I sort of looked at them funny and said yeah, they are all over. They looked at each and fired away rapidly in Norwegian to each other. Then one of them, the leader is what I designated her, said, "Oh, we thought those were imaginary. You know," then cue the standard Western theme when two gunman are staring at each other and the music comes on and they fire away with the high noon sun overhead. Some John Wayne shit. And I met another guy, who's name is John, and his Norwegian friend said, thats not your name. Then he said his Norwegian name and John looked at him and said, but no, I like it, its like John Wayne.

There was a mess of French people in the grocery store last night. Roving around, stopping at specific spots.

Its really cool riding the train at night, and all night and black around becomes oppressive, and then the whole world around lights up as purple; the tracks sparking and shooting electricity into the air and illuminating the white landscape.

I wish I could take a picture.

Piercing place

.

The Burning Crusade! The IT kid at school was on thotbot looking at loot tables. Took me back to November.

The Underground part of the Underground

---
so this is what the volume knobs for

smashing a guitar is the greatest noise it can make

Woke up, showered. Went to class and discussed Julius Caesar, spent my time listening to a language I don’t understand. Not even a little bit. I don’t know for sure how to consider, the things I hear, because they don’t mean anything. But I know I’m not listening to gibberish. They are saying something, it’s just a point of moot with me, I don’t have the concepts in my silly head to deduce any of it.

I think it’s nice anyway. Sitting there, its like all obligation fades away. Gets thrown past and out, even away from my subconscious. There is nothing there, so it’s almost like lying on a beach, in Hawaii. And there are no cares, nothing in the world. That’s exactly what it feels like. Being in an environment that lacks any certain basis for you to exist. I exist, but don’t. I’m wholly separate, and in the separation, I can breathe.

I asked for a Tuna sandwich, but I sound American, am American, and here, my English gets lost very easily with their English, which is Norwegian but all British based. I got a weird spicy meat burrito instead. How is that related to tuna, I have no fucking clue. They put onions in everything. The world would go mad for onions if the world was Norway. And corn. I laugh when they come up to me and I hear about Maize. But that’s Alex’s story, not mine. I’m merely relating it, and thought it was funny. We are Indians. Hooting about. Native Americans. A lost culture. A lost culture, and I am lost. And I am a big place, and misunderstood, and the lack of relevance it has is beautiful. I am nothing. Like I said, the great and powerful oz would have gotten the same fucking thing I had if he asked for Tuna. So were the same, and its enriching. I’ve lingered with nonsense now too long.

I ordered some coffee after class, it was shit. I drank a mouthful, and told myself, why even bother with the rest. I released it upon the world on a table and read the rest of Dance Dance Dance in the drone of language all around me outside one of the auditoriums. Outside the library. Where they obviously want everyone to know, there are no cell phones or food to be had, In there. Who am I to argue. I read and drank out there, and now am In here. Symbolically speaking, I left there, am here, and will return there, but not the same there.

After my book and coffee I sat and wrote for about an hour I think? It took me seconds to find the question mark. The keyboards are different here. I keep hitting æ, when really all I want is the shift key. And the @ sign is an impossible task. Taking even a minute. Email addresses fall apart, and so they shall.

The writing was nice, and pleasant, and everything it always is. I revisited old things, reworked encounters and dialogue to something more real. Or at least to what I write now, away from the past, which was a wonderful starting point. The change apparent is always nice to observe, and I guess its what keeps things going. I can’t stress that strongly. But I suppose only in constant writing would it even be appreciated. Maybe Jake would understand. He has a story in the works you know. A good one I think.

Now I’m in the library, the great glass edifice that is in one of the pictures below. Alex is giving me the finger. So pay attention. It’s smaller than Leid, and lacks the architectural grandeur. But it still has the qualities of a good library, quiet, and full of books. Everything is in language I can’t read. Again, wonderful. I don’t even have to bother with the thought.

I have been putting off Jane Eyre. Maybe soon, after this, I’ll give it another shot. I just can’t stomach the stuff. I am going to buy groceries. My first encounter with trying to buy milk. Hopefully it won’t be full of chunks. The idea of milk from other countries terrifies me. Somehow, after having tried the stuff in Colombia, I live in a perpetual fear of tasting what milk actually tastes like, rather than the watered down, cleaned, and Americanized stuff I have grown up on:

Sliced salmon
Tomatoes
Lettuce
Cucumbers
Cereal
Frozen Pizzas
Orange Juice
Milk
Fresh Bread
Salami
Ketchup
Cheese

That’s all I can muster. I’m sure when I see it I’ll know. My clothes are dirty. Another day tackling the laundry is in order—another day of staining all my shit and letting it hang, half wet, in my closet. I don’t know what tv is anymore. By that I mean the act of sitting down and relating with a group of people whatever is on television. Its lost to me. The world is huge. And there is always a gap that forms between old and new places. This is reality. But I feel like I only have half my face in it. Or a piece of my voice. Or just a sliver of my eye. The rest is sleeping. And I am sleeping.

I lie in bed thinking about stuff. Watching the sun touch the leaves of my plants briefly. For maybe 15 minutes max. The whole of my orchid is bloomed. It rests on my desk, next to an assortment of sterile technology. The idea of warmth, it all but evaporates out the window, turns into something, and gets swallowed up by the birds that roam outside in the snow. Picking bits of nuts and green off the earth. They shamble along, and look like fat people. Consumed by the desire to live in the extreme cold. They must plunder a lot, and leave the rest, like the past, burning until it all turns and blows away.

I wait until my phone rings, and pick myself up. I showered and checked the news on my computer. Started the rest of the day.

---
lazer guided melodies

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

the world is a weird place. fuck.

---
trying. trying, to understand it all.

padre, no me, abandonas

Been writing tonight, listening to some music, receiving text messages and phone calls about the evening and its happenings. Somehow in this head of mine I imagine this weird breaking down and then me sifting through the pieces and putting stuff back together again in a different way. Not new things, just different, changed. And not anything noticeable I think. Perception can be cemented pretty hard, and once its set it stays pretty solid.

And the way I look at it, sadly, is like cut-up. As much as it pains me to look at a process by an author I don’t care much for. I guess it has validity. Mostly because its taking these complex structures and works, stuff that has been painstakingly put together, and making it different. Essentially it’s the same fucking thing. Not a different word in the mix, but look, it means something completely different. And that’s important. I don’t know why its important, I wish I could explain why, but I don’t know if I’m skilled enough for anything beyond that. I guess I appreciate and recognize it.

So that’s sort of how I feel. And all there is is snow to look out at and the waves of heat that come off my radiator and pass above the frozen window and up towards my vent and outside.

As for moments. Well I think moments are important. And essentially, I think it’d be neat to take every moment I ever had in my life, move them around as a separate entity, and see what comes out different. Again, the same thought as above. But just the timing and the sequence, what builds on what, and how it all builds to form the present is important. And I want to look at everything I am and say, wow, that makes sense. But I don’t know if that is really possible. I don’t think its really possible to take yourself all at once, because we sort of think in a linear fashion, and memory isn’t perfect, and always malleable when needed. So stuff may not be as it was, and that sort of corruption ruins the idea, so I guess it just sits as a neat idea and that’s about it.

Pleased with re-writing something I worked on a while ago. Though, the story seems very different, especially since everyone lacks a name at this point, and when I made so much emphasis in the beginning with all these symbolic names. I think I lost some of the point, and now I look at it and maybe it’s just less confusing, or subtler. I hope the work is simpler, elegant, but flows and reads like a story, not like this thing that seems convoluted and contrived. And a lot more can be gleaned from it. I’d rather have a wire construction and let the reader fill in the rest of the framework, based on what they see, rather than try and force my hand with everything that I want. That flexibility seems important in writing. Especially in writing fiction. And that kind of works its way into how the reader, every single one of them, imagines the character, relates to what they think and say. All the pain they feel, all the mediocrity they live in. Without that, its just empty, and I guess I just want to say to myself, say to myself that decided this over a year ago. Write a lot more about the stuff you feel rather than what you think will sound good. Because that’s the important thing. Relating to stuff, that’s where the importance of what you are doing comes into play. Without that, it’s fruitless. It’s like painting a painting because it would look good on your wall. That’s dumb. That’s not the point. It kills expression, and expression is the point.


---
ender will save us all

stacks of change.

My smoke detector keeps beeping and its starting to drive me crazy. Plus I don't have a ladder or a damn step stool to get me up there to see if the battery needs changing. What the hell is this?!

Oh, and I got a beer bottle accidentally thrown at my leg.

I hate reading Jane Eyre. I think its a book Jessica has read, and liked. Or if not, will read, and like. A combination of those two.

Going to go get a nice meal over at school and then I don't know. Wrote a lot last night. Still feeling disjointed. The last bud on my orchid won't bloom. I think the sun has been slowly opening them up, one by one. And now its stuck in this perpetual moment, waiting for the light.

Need to wash ice cream bowls, and pizza plates. Ran into my roommates last night at Chateau Neuf. This computer was a wise decision. Sagely advice on a Friday. Don't drink all your cokes in 4 days. And grocery shopping has become another task for procrastination. I think I need to start personifying all the objects in my room. Like have a day with my beer bottles. Another day with my desk lamp. My camera, my pens, the plants, the map, the books.

I hope Pirate Bay is able to buy an island. I start to imagine this technological city, with only maybe 10 square miles of land and just pure insanity, with no rules and no management. Something out of Snowcrash, that lashing together of boats, or maybe a Nu Shanghai.

The possibilities.


---
melancholia

i bought a loaded gun at the thrift store; robbed a bank at seventeen

Its really cold. As usual. Past couple of days have been nice though. The sun is slowly makings its appearances longer and longer. I've started school for real. I go everyday except Wednesday and Friday. But Friday class starts on the Feb. 2, so that vacation will end too.

Because I haven't updated in a while I am trying really hard to piece together stuff I've done or whats happened, so it might be out of order or maybe I'm missing things.

Cooked tacos one night with Alex and Tori. Then another night we cooked hamburgers which turned into giant meatballs on hamburger buns.

I'm starting to get more used to living here. Stuff that seemed difficult before is normal, and it all becomes a routine of something or the other. Alex and I went exploring into Grunerlokka yesterday. Got lost for a while until we managed our way into the hip district. Kind of like Greenwich Village. Passed by hair salon after hair salon. Found a cool music/clothing store. She bought a yellow dress I bought a coat. I like coats. I think I have a problem. Tasted a scone with two cups of coffee in a really trendy, nice coffee shop. It became the most bomb thing I've tasted. We met an asshole at a 7-11 who didn't know the name of the street over. Found a greaser/50's store. Then we managed our way back and watched Huckabees. Which, that movie, every time I watch it I always manage to get something else out of it.

I tried doing my laundry one day. That turned into an all day affair. The machines are tiny so I took up two of them for my clothes. And I had to shove my box of detergent into the tiny hole since they are side loaders. And the dryers are a pain in the ass. They don't fucking dry your clothes. Plus, the water isn't that cold here, so my jeans bled and turned my whites into light blue. So now I have a bunch of retarded looking thermals and undershirts. It soon became 11 pm and I had to retrieve all my clothes which I tried drying three times. They were wet. Hung 'em up. I miss my washer and dryer.

I've gotten care packages from Greta and Mom. Both very awesome, and helpful. Thanks guys.

My list of shows so far here in Oslo:

Blood Brothers - Feb. 6
The Arcade Fire - March 24
Akron / Family - April 11
Bloc Party - May 2
Built to Spill - May 11

I'm trying to get Field Music tickets and Mountain Goats tickets. But the place they are playing doesn't seem to sell through ticketmaster, so maybe tomorrow I'll go downtown and check out whats the deal. I'm pretty hyped.

I saw the Coachella bill for the three days and got insanely jealous. There is no way in my mind you guys are not going to go. So many good bands. I really wish I could go again, except skip the camping part and get a hotel room instead.

I finally went to my British Lit. group meeting. Basically, that class is broken up into group sessions and a lecture. The lecture is on Thursdays and is only 45 minutes. Then the groups are 2 hours long, my group meets on Tuesday. The system confused me at first so I missed the first session. When I got in there the second time, everyone spoke in Norwegian and she started teaching in Norwegian. Then she asked if everyone understood her and I was the only one who said no. I felt pretty bad because she switched it up to English. But people don't seem to mind. They have a good grasp of English. Made a couple of friends in class. It is really easy though. Most of the lit. is stuff I did in high school. Plus there isn't much in the way of homework. I just read. And I have to write a paper and the test is all writing.

Had a cup of coffee in the library before that group class. Watched people out of the window and read some Murakami. Then after class I went up to the second story of the library and wrote some more to Nearing Twilight in that journal Jessica gave me. Which has become a place for random sketches, pieces, and thoughts. I like the leather feel to it. Plus it has a really cool long string that wraps all the way around. Its crazy old school.

The campus, as Alex has pointed out, isn't much to look at. All standard box buildings with bunches of windows. Its all kind of drab. They say Oslo's university is the ugliest one in Europe. This is because most European Universities are very old and have architecture from the past. Old stone buildings, etc. None of that here.

I think Oslo in a whole is a better city in the spring and summertime. Stuff right now seems worn and everything is cold.

An old Norwegian lady tried striking up conversation with me on the train. She talked to me about doctors, being a doctor, lawyers, about her family, about her in-laws. Really strange. Her English was pretty broken so I just nodded my head and hoped that the train would move quicker.

Drank a bottle of really bad wine. I think I might just stay away from the wine.

There is the same fucking bird on the tree outside my window every afternoon. Its like a death crow. The thing is creepy. And I've managed to regale events in the most tangled, cobbled together fashion imaginable. Like I am on the verge of austic with my hands so typing is a slow and not flowing form. I couldn't manage a word besides not flowing, so I'll add the negative and leave the structure as un-elegant as possible.

Soon Feb. will be here. And after that 1 month, making 5. And then time will be closer to a newer point. I suppose things flow and move forward and I feel crazy distant, so far that I stopped thinking about seeing over the ocean. Its a really weird feeling. Probably because I haven't felt it this long before. And I think it will be long enough to enact change.

The photos below are my earnest attempt at capturing more of my surroundings and where I am. Though, cameras for the mind and the inside, are, words. These words should relate that I am terribly lost and that the structures I use to build are not in the present functioning. Though that all sounds vague. Its me trying to explain why everything I say, in my head, feels tangled and murky. Not fluid at all.

Enjoy the pictures.

The library. A monster of glass. Alex giving me the finger.

Campus from the bottom

Babies. Norway is full of babies.

One of the many nurseries that exist wherever people and buildings meet.

Alex

Fields of Snow

---
but we're, not out of ammo yet

he ain't gonna email you

Interview with Zach. I'll do a real post later.
It shows up as white space. Just click on the blank area so it plays.
---
blinded by the light

blow

Chillin in my room listening to Goodbye Stranger with it blasting in my headphones. Went out tonight to a really cool bar with Alex and Blake. Blake was brave enough to go after the absinthe. Pretty impressive. Though the stuff here doesn't have wormwood. I'm partial to Jack and Coke so I had a couple of those. Here is my conquest for the night. Enjoy.



Ran into the canadians Tyler and all of them outside our dorms. Another party tomorrow. Christ we've been having a lot of fun. Been getting some good writing too. Downloading Blinded by the Light.

Tomorrow I need to search out the laundry after having failed today. Also, I think I'm really starting to enjoy Oslo in the nightime.

Cheers as the bartender said. Monday next week in Majorstuen again.

---
the room was empty as we knew it.

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY STEPHANIE

wish I could be there going out with all you guys. have fun!

smoothie, tickets, cigarettes seems entertaining enough for sacrifice

Blogger doesn't let me rotate photos. Or I can't figure it out. So some of them just tilt your head. Its been a little while now that I've been in Oslo. I'm taking Victorian Literature, Introduction to British Literature, and Norwegian Life and Society for classes. They only take three classes a semester here so thats nice compared to the four I usually have to do in the States.

Starting to get stuff figured out. I bought tickets to two shows. The Arcade Fire and Bloc Party. Arcade Fire is March 24 and Bloc Party is May 2. I'm super hyped because I sort of figured I'd never see The Arcade Fire again after Vegoose. Plus this at a venue and not a festival. So less people and inside. Thanks to Perry for the heads up on both of those shows.

*and now I just bought Blood Brothers tickets to go with my new friend Alex. So that will be cool.

Been meeting a ton of awesome people. We have international coffee hour on Friday at 4, every Friday. So that is nice. And there are so many awesome underground/basement bars, a place called Chateau Neuf, which has pretty decently cheap beer (20 kroner a beer). Went to a dorm party last night at the other student village with a lot of Canadians and Norwegians. Alex and I were the only Americans. Met a cool guy named Blake from Minnesota who drums in a band called The Plagiarists. And its weird because he knows Tapes N' Tapes since they are from Minnesota and in the same scene.

I've so far met another girl named Alex from Canada who looks like Kat. I met a Gianna look alike. And a Blair look a like wandering around the statue park.

Which is really cool. Its called Vineland Park I think. Anyway, it was one guy and he made all these sculptures of naked people. The pictures are below. The large one that shoots up into the sky is piles of human bodies, and the thing is all one piece of stone. The place is open 24 hours a day too. During the summer they say a lot of people party there, bbq, sunbathe. We saw the sunsetting from there.

Tonight I plan on going out to Sogn (the other student village). Also earlier went to a cool bagel/juice bar with Alex and we met up with another girl, Torri from Australia. Its really cool meeting these people from all over the world. I'm starting to enjoy stuff more since I've been meeting people and hanging out. School seems really laid back and shouldn't be too difficult. But that may just be an illusion. I have no idea yet.

The sun has been coming out the past two days. I bought an orchard and a tiny tree to liven my room up a bit. The yellow walls were getting depressing. My light keeps fucking flickering now. Just on and off. My room looks like a haunted house from the end of the hallway with the light spazzing out. I can't read at the moment. I'll have to call the caretaker and get it fixed.

Met some interesting guys on the train who are from Brazil and Nigeria. They are forming a reggae band. Its just insane how with public transportation you end up meeting people from all over. English is so goddamn international that when you start speaking it people just light up and join in.

Norwegians are also very interesting. During the day they are very reserved and sort of doing their own thing. But at night they get a couple of beers in them and become so friendly and talkative. They love to share stories and all kinds of information.

My Singapore roommates are pretty awesome. They cook every night and I like to listen and watch them. Last night they invited me to their meal and we had a good noodle soup, I had a beer and they talked about Singapore and asked me some questions about the States.

The Canadians get really funny because some are from Quebec and the others are from Toronto and Vancouver, etc, so they start arguing about a United or Separated Canada.

Been eating a lot of frozen pizzas. Apparently Norway is the number one consumer of frozen pizza in Europe. They love pizza.

I also met a bunch of people from Barcelona. Their Spanish reminds me of a lot of things I love about Spain. And then I start thinking about good Mexican/Latin food and it sucks how bland stuff can be here.

Had a traditional Norwegian meal one night too. Alex invited me over to her flat and her roommates are Norwegian and they cooked Meatballs, with potatoes, and vegetables. It was good. Nice to eat an actual meal. I don't think I'm going to be getting any cooking skills for a while.

The weather has been off and on. All I know is that I miss the desert. But I hear that you guys have been having a cold ass winter. So thats sort of funny. Because I think it was warmer today here than it was in Vegas.

Going to have to figure out the laundry tomorrow I think. Maybe not. Depending how lazy I am. The Norwegians have this unspoken agreement with the winter time. Not to do anything during the day, so everything is open for like 3 hours and then closes. Then the dark hits and they just drink and party at night. And then Sunday they just don't do anything at all.

My light is pissing me off. I feel disjointed. Like I am scattered and all over the place. We take this self and try and keep the whole thing tied together and coherent. And maybe to deal with this place I made myself shatter in so many pieces and just sort of took a nap letting all that glass rest in remains on the floor. Maybe it is just sort of a dream, with one eye opened or half-asleep. Where things are mucked up enough to be able to fly or be a gunman but still there is a clock and we know almost what time it is and the passing of the sun and light and the day outside. Maybe it is like that.

---

Excerpt: The sea passed all around us. It was full of waves and gulls in the air. Soaring so we knew land wasn't far. But enough of us were so tired that our eyes slipped below the horizon, down to our shoes that were fading from the black to brown. The tips were crumbling and some even had a toe sticking out. Our hats were soaked. Our beards had grown long. We didn't smile at each other. The sun was burning a streak, a single line across a row of clouds clutching their white faces in crying tears.

So the rain was far away and we knew that we had escaped the storm. The great boat that we stood on all trying to raise our heads dipped and filled slowly with water. When we reached the place where the rocks were teeth and razors in the blank and deep, we crashed. And four of us survived to shore. The only four who had kept their boots and coats. And I was alive. And so were they. We shuddered and the sun died in the black and day ended with the cold wind. The world was slowly dying I thought before I got here.

And now it feels so young. Like a child breast feeding. The tempest was chaos and hell and it made me fight a spiritual war inside of me. I clutched my chest and coughed and wracked like a madman all night. When the day came the rest of them had finally died and i covered myself in their coats and took off along the coast to try and find the place where I would dig and try and find a breath and life. With the shadows and terrible things behind me.

I walked.

---

Orchid in my room

Majorstuen (the rich part of Oslo)

The top of the Statue Park

Statues

Statues

Tower of Bodies

Entrance to top

Norwegian Sunset

Accordion Player for Perry

Statue

Bottom of Park

Party. Vinnie is toasting in the back with his beer. He loves Philadelphia.

Kitchen Party

The train from my student residence

Singapore roommates and the meal they cooked.

---
they're all gonna laugh.

now the ground shifts beneath my feet

Spent yesterday exploring early in the morning. Sundays are very quiet here. No one opens shops, all the restaurants are closed, and people are either sleeping or out walking. I took The Underground into the city. Wandered and explored the immigrant quarter. There seem to be a lot of Asian shops around here. I think that's where I am going to go to buy my fruit. Had a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke at Burger King inside central station since it seems like that's where you can get the best burger. Norwegians don't seem to particular on hamburgers. I realized, holy shit, this 5 dollar meal in the states just cost me 13 dollars here (around 86 kroners). They don't joke around with their prices here. I've spent most of my time eating at 7-11's since its one of the cheapest places to go. I'm seriously amazed at how expensive everything is here. To ride the train one way is 3 dollars (20 kroner). I wonder if wages here are particularly high to offset the costs of living. I'm not so sure if I'm going to travel abroad after school is out just because of how much money I'm already spending.


Found the laundry. Found the police station. Discovered campus which is very pretty. It snowed all through the night and day two days ago, so yesterday the city and outskirts were covered in snow. I went stomping around and wore my giant coat. Its very lonely here. I spent a lot of time sitting on a bench watching children ice-skate while they played music over these loudspeakers through the center of the rink. They played this really scary song about a wolf-king coming out of the dark forest and throwing a large party for all the people of a village.




I wandered around and hung around the coast-line watching some men fish off the pier. They brought in a large fish, couldn't tell what it was. I also found a sushi place. Though sushi runs around 200 kroner for about 9 pieces. So i think that meal will wait in celebration of something. Tried to find a place where I could buy liquor. A bottle of wine would be nice or some whiskey to warm me up while I read. But they seem pretty strict here about alcohol. Talked more with Lee about her studies. She is leaving in forty days to go back to China. I also ended up meeting the other three Chinese roommates I have. They all come from Singapore and are very nice.


I like the fog that comes at night and sits over everything. I miss the sun like no other though. It hasn't shown its lovely face in three days now I think. Its really amazing how it warps time.

Today I went out with my three roommates from Singapore. They are pretty funny because they are so tiny but really motivated and sort of just leap into the city and things. I laughed watching them eat these huge hot-dogs from 7-11 with their giant mittens and hats and down coats. They don't like the cold much. They also showed me where the Visa office is, so I got that taken care of which was a relief. Took me four hours though. There are so many beautiful women here. Its kind of overwhelming.

I ate the worst chow mein I've ever had in my life. I do not recommend the hot deal for 10 kroner at 7-11. There are a lot of foreigners and refugees here. I overheard people talking that Norway is a good place to get asylum and there are a lot of people from Africa and the Middle East.

There are also a ton of babies. Everywhere I go I see strollers and babies and Norwegian mothers holding their pink babies and they have these really funny plastic canvases that zip up around the strollers to protect the kids from the wind and rain.

Its been raining all day now. It melted all of the snow and the wind picked up. I think the worst thing is the wind. It makes everything sting. I'm going to try and transfer my money back to my account in the states. It seems ridiculous to try and enter their welfare system for simply six months. I need to go to SIO bank and see if they will do the wire for me.

Things are strange here. A lot of time to think and a lot of solitude and quiet. I don't know how I am adjusting. I sort of wonder now why in the world I came here of all places. To the dark and cold. I have to register for classes soon and meet up with advisers and discover campus a bit more. It still seems so daunting even with a Visa and permit to live here all taken care of. I'm going to go read for a bit and think some more. Get some more writing done. If anything, this is a good place to write. Not a lot of distractions and a good, simple desk with a wonderful window and a heater right next to my feet.





---
please help me. please help me find my way. i'm lost.

Til 13:00

I spent most of my day writing. Looking out at the window. Sleeping at intervals. Trying to adjust. I have Internet here in my room. So that is cool. I bought the Pirates movie off of Itunes. It downloaded pretty quickly for 1.74 gigs of data, so I figure my connection is alright. It started snowing around 6 or 7 I think. It didn’t stop until like midnight. Now the entire parking lot is covered in this beautiful white blanket. There are skis lined up outside my hallway. I think Brian would go nuts with all the skiing they do here. Mountains are half an hour away. There is supposedly a giant lake around here that I can walk to. I think I might go exploring to go find it. On Monday I am going to try and go to the police station and get my passport stamped with my Visa. Don’t want the authorities booting me out just as I am getting settled.

I met a roommate. Her name is Lee. She is from China. An atmospheric chemist. I made a joke about global warming and she laughed. I told her I was from the U.S. I wonder what she thinks about me now. She seemed very nice and very intelligent, her English was a little broken. I realized that there are a ton of international students. All of them with their own respective languages. Yet, they all have to communicate in English to each other. This international language. Then I thought about how if we lost the cold war things would be very different. Some forgotten country off on the other side of the ocean. And everyone mumbling away in Russian. But those sort of thoughts can get kind of ridiculous.

I still can’t quite figure out all the stuff I have to do. I made a list but it seemed sort of minimal. I need to get that passport stamped. That seems important. And I should probably explore the campus. And get all my money out of the bank account I wired it too. Those things seems important. Its hard to do stuff when its so damn cold out. It is 29 F out right now. The fog has rolled in a bit. Or it could just be my windows freezing up. Its Saturday tomorrow though. So I can’t really get any real work done. Everything of government and school related closes on the weekend. I am going to try and find some bars and explore the hip/cool district tomorrow. I’m still not adjusted to the time difference. Right now my stomach is expecting someone to call me or me call them and ask where they want to eat. I’ve got a cup I stole from the kitchen cabinet. Its not very big so I don’t think anyone will miss it. I’ve claimed it mine and have come to the conclusion that this cup will represent my survival. See, there is a bathroom in my closed and locked hallway. And here we can drink the tap water all we like. So I’ve got an unlimited, free, water supply. If anything, a broke man can survive on water and pilfering frozen goods from un-assuming minds. Though, hopefully, I don’t think I will have to become some sort of frozen goods food thief. It’s a thought though. Letting those years of evolutionary, survival instinct come out.

I think the joys of heaters go unnoticed until the cold is a constant companion. I keep mine cranked. I’m like a lizard in this room. A hot den of books, this computer, and down blankets with satin sheets. Yeah, fuck that, I bought satin because I am an extravagant sort of gent.

Oh, somehow on my exploration I managed to find the apple store here too. Kind of comforting to know that culturally, America isn’t too far away. I’ve also noticed of course, the 7-11’s, the McDonalds, the Burger King, and a wide variety of American cinema all gracing the curbs and streets of Oslo. Reminds me of Snowcrash.

Tomorrow I think fishsticks. I don’t have a microwave. Which is interesting. No one has microwaves. What the hell is that? Why the hell do we have microwaves now that I think of it. Oh, my experiences trying to figure out this old school over, with no timer, and no readout, plus its all in Celsius, has been very interesting.

The Sun

Nighttime after it snowed

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take me out to the black.
tell 'em i ain't comin' back.

Out of the Dark

This is my second day in Oslo. Its dark out. Its dark out most of the time. I don’t think I really understood what it meant for the day to be like that until I experienced it. My room is nice. An American from New Mexico helped me take my things up. They call the groundskeepers caretakers. He called the United States a dictatorship and asked me how life was over there. I got the feeling he missed it though. He kind of thought I was nuts coming here. As he left me standing in the hallway he said, "But man, oh man the dames here are gorgeous. The dames sure are something," and he kissed his hand like a french-man exclaiming himself over bread. I shook my head.

I have roommates. Though, I don’t know their names yet or where they are from. The amazing thing is everyone speaks English. You tend to get the feeling though that they are a little offended at Americans and their lack of ability to speak anything but their own. Everyone I asked for help today as I wandered the city was very cordial. The women are indeed beautiful. Everywhere I walked and turned I caught myself staring. Made me think of the Of Montreal song.

Its cold. There is less snow than I thought. It melts during the day. My first night I didn’t have any sheets, blankets, or pillows and it was rough. I put on all my warm clothes at once. I didn’t know how to use the heater either. Most of the night I spent wondering who else I was living with. Too afraid to stumble out and say hello. But I think its all other international students in this building. The food seems fine. Its very expensive. Everything is very expensive.

Today I figured out the train system. At first I just kept getting off at stops thinking they were Oslo Central Station. Eventually, after asking and walking miles down towards the coast I managed to find it. And with that I found the buses that took me to Ikea. Where I managed to buy linens and such to make my second night more comfortable.

The first night it snowed. And it was a white mist that surrounded the sheer black from the large window where I can look out and stare at muddy commons and Mercedes frozen and white. My cab was a Mercedes. They like their Benzes over here.

I share a bathroom with another person. Who either hasn’t arrived or is a ghost. My roommates seem to be skilled at this act of disappearing. I think everyone is getting situated. Dealing with the strangeness in a foreign land.

I keep forgetting too that Oslo is a sea-city. The birds are huge and wander around like dragons. They sit on their legs and scowl and I clamber along the cobblestones, waiting to find myself amongst something I know. But all there is are words and mouths of things I don’t understand.

This entry is very disjointed. Tomorrow I have to find a police station and get my passport stamped. Oh, I bought groceries, and have decided to hoard my bananas in my room near my bed. If anything, I’ll live off those and tap water. I’m such a maniac sometimes.

I’ll leave you all with some pictures of my room. Hopefully I’ll get acclimated and be able to shake myself loose. Like coins falling away. And empty pockets. I forgot my robot. It’s a pity. But sometimes it all just has to sit far away for a while until you come back with sharper eyes. As for these entries. They will come. And the sun will shine a little brighter as the days tick away.

A View from My Window

Bathroom

Desk

Bed (Now with sheets, blankets and pillows)

Room for the next 6 months

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wisps and cities made of ice and fire