superstitious artifact,
suspect / evil / intent,
suspicious outcomes,
detonate! ,
how do i remove thy prescene,
from the home,
from the heart,
from the hearth
where residential existence resides.
i have tried most everywhere &
feel restless
about the cause;
long and far away are my memories of warmer times.
even without fire,
even betrayed by change,
let me feast on whatever platter
comes.
Its one of those quiet nights where the waitress tells you she has an ingrown toe nail and knocks on wood. "The night isnt too busy." Theres a guy named gary eating soup in a corner and ive seen him walking around the neighborhood. Its weird to me that im a dad. I have a nearby bar i like. Theres a regulars. Oh fuck they know my name. Its comforting. We battle over the jukebox. The floors are wood and the walls are stone. Theres pool tables. I feel somehow lost and embraced. Im in the middle of the best part of a daring adventure. A corner, some ale. The buzz of humans. Come on! Come on! The hustlers are playing pool tonight. I love small communities so much easier to wrap my head around the variables. I dont care about the wins or losses it all amounts to the same ledger but what about all the heart behind every choice. Gary slurps his soup and all is right with the world. It has to be enough to get me to bed finally when its all over.
---
*there's a place in my phone with a running commentary of all the food pickups and moments of existence my experience(s), before being thrown back in the fray.
---
i walk far
when little eyes
wont close.
I dont know if i have an easy memory to reference of when football ends at a bar. The noticiable shift is fucking noticiable. The bartenders switch the tv audio over to music and everyone leaves. You hear all the drunk tabs being closed. People light up cigarettes. Theres a clear distinction between the dudes who want to gamble and do, and all the other dudes who have to go home. I had no idea 830 was a consumer shift change. Dont let anyone fool you consumerism is 'what you do' as the primary job in our culture. Whatever your work is secondary to the myriad of description on how anyone consumea. Even content consumption generatea massive profit and its what 'we do'. Booze and gambling is less of a veneer than private school and first class flights. Endangered brazilian hardwood toilet seats. Still shitting diarreah. The last people in the bar either playing pool or waiting for food. Take all that as you will. Men once waited in trenches to die and now cant make a choice watching netflix.
So high up hanging with the weather changes. Still pines and ravagey aspens like every watercolor portrait for the time of fall. Crashing elk into chain link fences, and wagons with kiddos going up the hill. Some measured vacation relaxing between the responsible and the chaotic; cable tv. The sound of meat and veggies on the fire, roasting toasted grilled charred smokey. We perform the caraseoul around the Target parking lot, while mom shops; beats double shopping carts in a safeway...or does it? Vomit and apples down a windy road with crying. The menu. Appetizers. Cocktails, del taco. Cry some more in the shivery night papa, youre welcome. Sleep tight little children, bottles and blankets and beer for the dada wine for mama. Hot Tub Time Machine. Whisper gentle in the lamplight, and from the table to the couch eyes close sleepy in dreamy tired aches. I love you, i love you. This is vacation. New kind of vacation. Some complex grandeur adventure but something always falling, and falling. Without partners theres lone wolf territory where little cracks turn to chasms and without the backup no repair. So rest easy. I got you. You got this. Each other, no others.
G l yoner fu. I wait forever for something better. It is human. I am me and animal in habit. Feed my tummy fat and sugar, i will sleep. Dry eyeball in the morning, sighs in the evening. Last of all the good. Forever backwards wanting. Try each joint in terrible achey motion; time has made me wither; and final is every memory splayed like a flayed bo
dy in the sun aware that l both wave and a particle.
Isms and ishs Ates and ucks Inging es's ymns Cal ilk tus Ieieieieie Ders apts ips Nds Nds Owers Ifts. Ilsish, in in en. Oopa oopa, axz.
Perm paper press
Historical blood draws
Tricks and treats in border towns
Costume villains bring doom
Down central ave.
Call the coroner
To view the corpses,
Students crawl close quarter contact
With debts;
Theres nothing like a cold beer
After a hard days work.
I am flying far
To get away.
